Am I the only person that constantly gets asked this question? & constantly pulls this face?

This is me…. All.The.Time.

And even when I say I’d rather cut my foot off with a butter knife than not be able to drink for 9 months, go through the worlds most excruciating pain again, have minimal sleep for at least 2 years & then put up with bullshit attitude for the next 16 years they still give me a wink & reply..
“Oh you’ll go again I bet!”  Continue reading

Excercising, threenager style! 

Exercising with my threenager = lots of back-tracking, bargaining, pausing the fitness app & dodging flying books. There are lots of things my daughter is good for, but being my exercise buddy is definitely not one of them.. Not yet anyway. She likes to go in every direction other than the one I’m going in. Between the book that she brought along & myself she definitely vented her frustration. By the time we left I actually couldn’t find her book but after the way it was treated I wouldn’t be surprised if it grew legs & ran away – I’m so jealous.I’m 20kgs heavier than I’d like to be & I don’t enjoy it, however I do enjoy drinking alcohol, eating cheese & sitting on my butt so I can’t complain to much. I know the power is in my hands & all that jazz. I have also grown 3 humans in the squishy stomach that I curse every day so if it never looks as good as I’d like it to at least I can look at my gorgeous children instead.  Continue reading

The case of the missing knickers! 

So about 2 months ago my daughter Saige, the Threenager, basically skipped the potty stage & went from nappies to totally toilet trained in about 40 minutes, I shit you not. This is super exciting! It took my boys 3 years just to work out what their willies were for let alone have control of its use! No more nappies EVER, no more poo under my fingernails, no more chasing toddlers around the house to do them the favour of changing their soiled butts.. Hooray! 10 years of nappies & I feel like I’ve done my part for Huggies, there is no mourning here for what was.. I am done. The next nappy I change will be my Mothers or my grand child. It has however brought with it a new issue, the case of the missing knickers! This has been happening every day.. It doesn’t matter where we are, who we’re with.. The knickers will at some stage be MIA. It happened at Target the other day & for a brief moment I thought about pretending she wasn’t mine. I wish I could say I have no idea where this comes from but unfortunately at the age of 3, I embarrassed my mother at our local royal show whilst on the jumping castle.. My butt was as bare as the day I was born! My grandmother found my barbie knickers behind her toilet later that day. They still love to tell this story!  Continue reading

Toddler life. 

This pictures represents my life at the moment.. Especially so at 2.48pm today. The daily toddler protest has turned into the hourly toddler protest lately.. We are quickly realising that a threenager has moved in, it’s petrifying. You’d think 3rd time around I’d have this under control, right? HA, wrong! Wrong wrong wrongity wrong! So much wrong it hurts. 3rd time around I’m being tested like never before.. Some people say it’s a 3rd child thing, others say it’s a girl thing & my Mother says it’s my karma. Just quietly I think it’s a mixture of all 3. Whatever the cause though, I wish I had the answer. The older she gets, the smarter she gets, the harder to bargain with she gets. And she’s a squealer, an ear piercing, head ache inducing, “should I alert the neighbours that she’s fine!?” squealer. I do have to say I could not live without my little girl, I dreamed of & longed for her so badly before she came along. She’s full of personality, attitude & sass which I love so much.. I’d just like it if she kept it to a minimum while she lives under my roof 😆 The night she is suspected to of been conceived I’d left my friends house full of wine & told everyone in my usual inappropriate drunk way that I was going home to make a baby girl, it’s amazing what you can do when you put your back into it 😝 She really is my dream come true but WOW it’s like raising an alien after 2 boys. It is just so different in every way. You see those Jesus feet.. The ones that drew glances from all of the perfect people at the supermarket (Ok, it was only 1 lady & she was pushing 70) they are the result of my daughter flatly refusing to put her shoes back on & with only 21 minutes to get dinner & get to school pick up in time.. My defenses were low! Continue reading