Toddler life. 


This pictures represents my life at the moment.. Especially so at 2.48pm today. The daily toddler protest has turned into the hourly toddler protest lately.. We are quickly realising that a threenager has moved in, it’s petrifying. You’d think 3rd time around I’d have this under control, right? HA, wrong! Wrong wrong wrongity wrong! So much wrong it hurts. 3rd time around I’m being tested like never before.. Some people say it’s a 3rd child thing, others say it’s a girl thing & my Mother says it’s my karma. Just quietly I think it’s a mixture of all 3. Whatever the cause though, I wish I had the answer. The older she gets, the smarter she gets, the harder to bargain with she gets. And she’s a squealer, an ear piercing, head ache inducing, “should I alert the neighbours that she’s fine!?” squealer. I do have to say I could not live without my little girl, I dreamed of & longed for her so badly before she came along. She’s full of personality, attitude & sass which I love so much.. I’d just like it if she kept it to a minimum while she lives under my roof 😆 The night she is suspected to of been conceived I’d left my friends house full of wine & told everyone in my usual inappropriate drunk way that I was going home to make a baby girl, it’s amazing what you can do when you put your back into it 😝 She really is my dream come true but WOW it’s like raising an alien after 2 boys. It is just so different in every way. You see those Jesus feet.. The ones that drew glances from all of the perfect people at the supermarket (Ok, it was only 1 lady & she was pushing 70) they are the result of my daughter flatly refusing to put her shoes back on & with only 21 minutes to get dinner & get to school pick up in time.. My defenses were low!

We can discuss my time management (lack-of) skills another day.

So I waved the white flag & let her go shoe-less.. Hell I would to if I could! We were down to 17 minutes until school pick up at this stage.. Shit was getting real. Raced in, grabbed the requested Tacos, felt like I was wearing a Super Mum Cape & then we saw it.. Right there in front of my face, I can’t even call it a rookie error because I’m “experienced” at this motherhood stuff/crap.. The cupcakes.. The goddamn pink pig cupcakes. We looked at each other like 2 Cowboys about to draw their guns on each other & without flinching she grabbed them off the shelf & dived to the floor. I’m pretty sure she knew, based on me saying “hurry up” every 0.2 seconds, that we were in a hurry & now was the perfect time to attack. She was right. With 11 minutes until pick up to go, I scooped her & the cup cakes off the ground knowing I’d lost this one (let’s not pretend it isn’t a competition – Mum vs Toddler) but I made it to pick my boys up with about 20 seconds to spare so I decided that while I may of lost the battle, I definitely won the war.

Anyway I best be off.. I have pink pig cupcakes to make.. & I’m pretty sure the bitch just bit her brother.

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