So about 2 months ago my daughter Saige, the Threenager, basically skipped the potty stage & went from nappies to totally toilet trained in about 40 minutes, I shit you not. This is super exciting! It took my boys 3 years just to work out what their willies were for let alone have control of its use! No more nappies EVER, no more poo under my fingernails, no more chasing toddlers around the house to do them the favour of changing their soiled butts.. Hooray! 10 years of nappies & I feel like I’ve done my part for Huggies, there is no mourning here for what was.. I am done. The next nappy I change will be my Mothers or my grand child. It has however brought with it a new issue, the case of the missing knickers! This has been happening every day.. It doesn’t matter where we are, who we’re with.. The knickers will at some stage be MIA. It happened at Target the other day & for a brief moment I thought about pretending she wasn’t mine. I wish I could say I have no idea where this comes from but unfortunately at the age of 3, I embarrassed my mother at our local royal show whilst on the jumping castle.. My butt was as bare as the day I was born! My grandmother found my barbie knickers behind her toilet later that day. They still love to tell this story!
So while jumping on the trampoline today dressed as a Christmas fairy (for what eventuated to be about 3 minutes then she ripped the strap off in an irrational fit of rage & it’s now on the pile for Nanny to fix) there it was.. The cutest little bum to ever flash me. It reminds me of 2 KFC dinner rolls, it’s so adorable. I, with no shame & without a hint of creep in me, can happily admit I’m a sucker for my children’s cute little derrieres. I ask “Saige where are your frozen knickers?”
With a pretend but convincing, shocked look on her face she replies “Uh oh, they gone Mummy”
Firstly, I wish she knew who she was dealing with.. My kids get their dramatic side from me, I swear if I hadn’t gotten pregnant at 20 I’d be 4 Oscars deep by now.
Secondly, I wish she’d treat her knickers with more respect.. Those frozen bastards are $10 for a pack of 2! Extortion!
So now I will spend my time searching for a frilly pink pair of frozen knickers & hope that the dog hasn’t eaten them or they’re shoved in the drain.. Wouldn’t be the first time. Those bitches Anna & Elsa are going to be the death of me one way or another!