Dear plastic baby…

Today we parted ways, by no fault of your own. And I owe you an apology.

From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. Sincerely sorry.

I am sorry I gifted you to the cold & demonic hands of my three year old. In my defence, I had no idea what you were going to be in for.

What either of us were going to be in for!

I wished for a better life for you. For us!

This was not the vision I had when I plucked you from the shelves at our local toy store.

You were the chosen one. Unlucky, I know! Continue reading

Hello my 1,612th week of life! 


So, I am 48 hours into my 1,612th week of life. 372 months in wanker toddler terms.
Strangely though, to me, both of these sound less harsh than 31 does.
I had a self diagnosed anxiety attack 72 hours ago which I’ve no doubt directly correlates with entering my 1,612th week.
And by anxiety attack I mean I was short of breath. Which I’ve no doubt directly correlates with the 10 cigarettes I smoked on Friday night when I was 5 wines deep.
I have spoken to friends about the 31 fear.   Friends that successfully survived it.

Some totally got it. They related. Continue reading

(Irrational) Humans of my house.


I recently turned three. I am officially a threenager. I know everything.
And everything is mine. Even if it’s yours. It’s actually mine.   This is my world, you just live in it.

I strongly recommend that you do not fuck with me. My wrath is very real.
People piss me off. Especially when they tell me what to do. Or look at me. Or talk to me. Or breath near me. Or help me put my shoes on the correct feet. Basically, I don’t like people. Unless those people are caving to my demands. My Daddy usually does. He is my favourite person in the world. Mummy growls at him sometimes. Continue reading

8 years in WA! 

8 years ago today, 22 years old,

34 weeks pregnant with Master 7,

Master 2 (now 10) on the verge of an autism diagnosis,

Scared out of my irrational mind,

We packed up our lives & moved across the country from everyone & everything we knew..

Today we have been in WA for 8 years.
What a roller coaster it’s been.
But I’d do it all again in a second. Continue reading